Be it done unto me according to thy word

Last night I blew a gasket. Really lost it. So often do I need to tell myself that God is in control and that things always work out astonishingly "right." I am blessed - very blessed - and I know it. Yet, rather than not troubling my mind about things, I get really bent out of shape about things that don't make sense. Boy, oh boy, did I ever get bend last night. I actually threw somethings in anger. I can't remember ever doing that before. In between yelling, talking to God and crying, I whipped two plastic hangers into the laundry room - breaking one. I've made headway in learning to accept things that I can't change, but I don't do well with poor hygiene soiling a load of laundry that had just been cleaned and double rinsed. If this was one of the first 1000 or so times that this person has cavalierly done as they wished without thinking of the impact upon others, I would have been able to calmly explain my difficulty. But it wasn't.
I loath thoughtlessness. Why is it that people want to live unexamined lives? It really doesn't make things easier.
When the Virgin Mary gave her fiat, was she given the grace to not get upset by things that occurred within her marriage and vocation as a mother? I can't imagine her having anger issues. Then again, maybe the reason Jesus called His mother "woman" when she wanted Him to correct the wine situation at the wedding in Cana is because, just the week before, she had yelled at Him for changing the cooking water into wine for Him and His buddies. She had told Him time and time again not to do that and she finally blew up about it. So, He was a bit irritated that she had raised her voice to Him for doing what she was then asking Him to do at the wedding.
Wouldn't it be nice to know that you could yell at your kids and they could turn out as well as that nice Jewish boy from Nazareth?
Last night's mess didn't have anything to do with my son. In fact, he was asleep when his mother raged against the machine. Did I mention that I hit the washing machine too? Yeah, another first for me. I crashed my forearms upon an inanimate object. It served as great a purpose as tossing the hangers did.
I've accepted that my house will never be whole - every project begun will never be finished. I now try to evaluate things as to whether they will do some sort of damage to my son and or his friends. A hole in the ceiling that was created to expose a leaking pipe, and the leak is now fixed, really doesn't matter. It may sound silly, but coming to that realization was a biggy for me. Once I could accept that, so many other things that are in actuality cosmetic fell in line. I now take many a situation as a way to humble me, yet I can't get past somethings and wonder what God thought of my display last night. Is it in His plan for me to accept that which I find to be vile and that could impact a child's health adversely? I don't want anyone to feel badly because I've judged their actions to be a disgusting threat to familial health, but I lost it.
Fifteen hours later and I don't know what I should have done. Fifteen hours later and I know the whole scenario might happen again, exactly the same way - again, and again. I don't know what is wanted of me. Can any of this be God's will? Peace.