Please Mentally
Insert an Image
of Edvard Munch's
"The Scream"
Here
Munch's title for that picture was originally "Despair" - despair is what I feel when I'm not up to the task of being a parent. Frankly, I am often not up to that task and am most certainly not up to it while I am trying to focus upon not burning myself as I fiddle about a hot stove while in a somnambulistic state. I like to be asked important (read anything dealing w/God falls in that category) questions when not fully conscious as much as I like and want an image of "The Scream" in my blog - be sure to note that there is no such image in this blog.
In answer to his question, I asked him questions. Unfortunately, those questions generated more questions from him. Thinking of that as I type here - I have to wonder who the silly person was who first thought that it was okay, if not good, for children to participate in a dialogue. And, why did I ever think that my child should feel free to engage me in such manner?! As today's exchange evidences, that was one slippery slope that can lead a young'un to think that it is alright to speak before spoken to. Sigh. This younger generation!
In a wily manner only known to moms, I concluded the subject, gave him his breakfast (fully cooked, yet not burnt - thank you) and then sent him off to school. Peace, solitude, calm, quiet - a sense of tranquil well-being pervaded my mind. Or did it?
Nope.
I will always remember how I befuddled a college roommate when I answered her question of what I was doing as I was just laying upon my bed. At most, she thought the answer would be "nothing." The answer "thinking" perplexed her to know end. She couldn't imagine why someone would just think. As our relationship grew, she would have me tell her of trains of thoughts and how they were coupled together. As it happened, she was actually a thinker who hadn't allowed herself thought - but that isn't why I mentioned that the act of thinking baffled her. Rather, that is brought up as a way to get to the fact that I am an incorrigible thinker. I can't help myself. Something inconsequential that someone says in passing may end up, without conscious effort, being turned into a mental dissertation of some sort. Therefore, my son's dash for the bus stop didn't close the book on that line of questioning; rather it allowed for a new chapter to be opened.
My mind jumped to Revelations then pondered God permitting the devil and his evil minions to roam about the earth seeking the ruin of souls (okay, I'm slipping into a prayer to describe where my thoughts were - sorry - but it works). Why is the devil allowed to have any influence in our lives? I mean lucifer went against God. he directly - nose 2 nose - went against God. Yet he is allowed free rein. Okay, okay - temptation could be said to be essential to freewill and God wants us to freely choose Him and freewill was the focus of the son/mom conversation at that most ugly part of my day called morning, but... Why oh, why? I would love to not be willful. How often in a day do I not act in a way that is best for me and those around me?!? Then how often do I berate myself for those actions? And, because I denigrate those actions, in reality, couldn't it be said that my true will was to do that which would have been best, yet not done? Hmmmm?
I must remember to try to get in touch with my better self to find out her opinion.
Anyway, that's the type of murky black stuff that has been floating around in my grey matter today. How about you? Did you hear that today did the Feast of the Seat of Peter? Today, essentially, we celebrate the establishment of the papacy. Vive il Papem!!
In his public address on this feast day last year, Pope Benedict said:
Dear brothers and sisters, in the apse of St Peter's Basilica, as you know, is the monument to the Chair of the Apostle, a mature work of Bernini. It is in the form of a great bronze throne supported by the statues of four Doctors of the Church: two from the West, St Augustine and St Ambrose, and two from the East: St John Chrysostom and St Athanasius.
I invite you to pause before this evocative work which today can be admired, decorated with myriads of candles, and to say a special prayer for the ministry that God has entrusted to me. Raise your eyes to the alabaster glass window located directly above the Chair and call upon the Holy Spirit, so that with his enlightenment and power, he will always sustain my daily service to the entire Church. For this, as for your devoted attention, I thank you from my heart.
I can only imagine, after this troublesome year, that he would be most grateful for some extra prayers in celebration of this year's feast. May God always have the Holy Father on His mind. Peace.
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