I was feeling horribly today - beyond miserable. A morning migraine refused to recede and was immune to all medication, blood sugar was way off, muscles non compliant, and the chronic pain refused to be ignored. On top of it all, I was keenly aware of how far I fall short of being the ideal wife. Ha! Almost an oxymoron - or something - ideal wife, when used in reference to me. By the time we left for Confession and Mass I was in a very negative mindset.
It seemed that every time I spoke to God I was apologizing for some facet of my being. All during Mass I never lost sight of my unworthiness. There was an underlying sense of gratefulness, but it was almost obscured by the unworthiness.
Having received Communion, I bowed my head and began to tell God how sorry I was for how lacking I was. As I was winding up to expand upon the subject, I became awash with a sense of joy. Pure blissful white light joy. How loving is our Lord. How absolutely, incredibly, fabulous is our Lord and God. The rest of my Communion prayer was one of thanks - joy filled thanks. Peace.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment